If you’ve ever looked in the mirror and thought, “Why can’t I just get it together? Why am I so lazy?” — you’re not alone. But I want to push back on something:
You’re not lazy. You’re tired. You’re wounded. You’re overloaded. You’re surviving.
And deep down, you probably know that. But the shame can get so loud you start to believe the label. Lazy. Weak. Undisciplined. Like something’s broken in you that can’t be fixed. Like you’ll never change. Like effort is pointless.
Let me tell you the truth: There’s nothing wrong with your desire to rest. What needs work is your rhythm. What needs healing is your identity.
Laziness Wasn’t My Problem
I used to think I was lazy too. When I was in the military, I had purpose — but I wasn’t living with passion. I came home from a deployment to a marriage that had fallen apart. Financial ruin. Betrayal. Lies. Cheating. Debt. The kind of pain you don’t bounce back from in a week.
So what did I do? I shut down. I numbed out. I smoked too much. Slept too long. I drank a ton. I wasn’t brushing my teeth. I wasn’t paying bills. I wasn’t improving myself. I wasn’t even trying.
I was just trying to breathe. To survive.
But here’s the thing I didn’t realize back then: getting out of bed every day in that state was actually resilience.
People look at a man barely holding on and call it lazy. But sometimes, just showing up is proof you haven’t quit.
It takes grit to keep waking up when nothing feels worth waking up for. It takes strength to keep breathing when the weight on your chest makes it hard to draw breath.
That’s not laziness. That’s survival.
The Real Difference Between Lazy and Exhausted
See, laziness is when you know what needs to be done and you don’t care. You have the ability. You just choose not to.
But what most of us call “lazy” is actually just depleted.
We push through work, push through stress, push through life — and then beat ourselves up when we don’t have the energy left to build a side hustle or hit the gym or help our kids with homework.
The shift for me happened when I stopped asking, Why don’t I have the energy at night to do what matters? and started asking, When during the day am I at my best?
So I started waking up early. Doing the important stuff first. Website work. Workouts. Writing. Planning. All before the day stole my energy.
Turns out, I wasn’t lazy. I was just drained.
And I had to stop pretending that being tired didn’t affect me. I had to start telling the truth: I’m tired. So I need a better rhythm.
You’re Not Lazy—You’re Living Without a Rhythm
When I was in the military, structure wasn’t optional. Wake-up time. Chow time. PT time. Lights out. The rhythm was imposed on us—because without rhythm, people fall apart.
I didn’t like it at the time. I pushed back against it. But in hindsight, it kept me sane. It gave my life order when everything else was chaos.
Now that I’m a civilian, that structure has to come from me. So I created a cadence to my life:
- Time in the Word
- Time with my wife
- Hard work
- Hard workouts
- Real rest
And guess what? I’m more productive and more at peace.
Because I stopped calling myself lazy and started living like I was a man of discipline.
The rhythm isn’t always perfect. Life throws curveballs. But I have something to return to. A baseline. A structure. A solid ground.
Your Identity Isn’t Lazy
What you believe about yourself matters.
If you call yourself lazy, you’ll act lazy. If you call yourself disciplined, you’ll start making disciplined choices.
It’s not about lying to yourself. It’s about telling yourself the truth before it shows up.
The truth is, you want more. You want better. You’re reading this because you haven’t given up.
That means you’re already on the way.
Start living like the man you want to become. Even in the smallest ways.
- Get up when the alarm goes off.
- Brush your teeth.
- Read the Bible.
- Eat the food you planned to eat.
- Move your body.
It all adds up. These aren’t small things. These are the things that shape a man.
Ready to Reset?
If you’re tired of being tired, and you know you need more structure, I want to help.
Start Strong is a 31-day devotional built for men who are ready to show up differently.
It’s short. Focused. Built on discipline and faith.
👉 Download it free here and start your comeback.
You’re not lazy.
You’re becoming.
And you don’t have to do it alone.
