I never thought I’d become a smoker. I picked up the habit over 10 years ago while deployed in Iraq. It wasn’t something I grew up around. In fact, I swore I’d never do it. But like so many others, the stress, the environment, and the moment got the better of me—and I lit up.
For the next decade, I carried the shame of being a smoker. I’d try to quit, sometimes for a few days or weeks, but I’d always go back. It made me mad. It frustrated me that something had such a hold on me.
But everything changed the year I almost lost both of my parents.
Losing My Parents Changed Everything
My mom had been dealing with chronic health issues for years. They weren’t smoking-related, but her health declined until, at just 52 years old, she went into hospice care. At the same time, my dad had recently been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. He was also in his 50s.
That moment broke something open inside me. I was watching my parents’ lives fade out—too young—and I couldn’t stop thinking about my own kids. Was I heading down the same road? Would they one day sit beside my hospital bed, hurt, angry, and afraid—because I couldn’t get my health in order?
Right there, standing outside the hospice facility in the smoking area with my brothers, I made a decision: I was going to quit.
The First Step: Going to Zero
I told my brothers my plan—I was going to taper down the nicotine slowly using a vape device. But one of my brothers stopped me.
He said, “No. Go straight to zero.”
I pushed back. “There’s no way I could do that.” But he didn’t let up.
A few days later, we stopped at a vape shop on the way to the airport. I picked up a new pen and zero-nicotine liquid. That was in July 2018. It was the beginning of my quit smoking story—one with struggle, setbacks, and an unexpected turning point.
The Turning Point: Thanksgiving in the Mountains
Over the next few months, I stuck with the zero-nicotine vape. But I was still deeply attached. I’d panic if I forgot it. The addiction was still there—just with a different face.
Then came Thanksgiving.
We planned a family trip up to the mountains in North Carolina. Honestly, I wouldn’t have gone if it weren’t for my mom passing. My parents weren’t together, so I hadn’t spent holidays with my dad in a long time. But I wanted to be there for him—especially with his cancer diagnosis.
As we packed up and started the long drive from Florida, I realized something…
I forgot my vape.
Panic set in. Stress hit hard. I felt like I was doomed to go the whole trip without it.
But then something happened.
The Cardinal in the Window
We finally arrived at the cabin, way up in the mountains. As soon as we walked in, I looked across the dining room table and saw a large stained glass decoration hanging in the window.
It was a cardinal.
Growing up, my grandma and mom always told us, “When you see a cardinal, it’s a loved one visiting from heaven.” And here we were, sitting down for our first Thanksgiving without my mom—the woman who always made the food, always held the holidays together.
And now, there she was. Not literally—but in that small sign, I felt her presence.
In that moment, the stress left my body. I realized: I didn’t need the vape anymore.
What Helped Me Quit for Good
From that day on, I never picked up a vape or cigarette again. It’s now been over seven years. And while I can credit timing, support, and determination, the real reason I was finally able to quit smoking was this:
I had a reason that hit me in the soul.
It wasn’t about willpower. It was about purpose. About legacy. About what I was leaving behind and who I was becoming.
You Need a Why—Not Just a Plan
Everyone’s quit smoking story is different. But here’s what I’ve learned:
You can’t just “try harder.” You have to dig deep and ask, Why am I doing this? Who am I doing it for?
If your answer doesn’t hit your heart, it’s not strong enough.
If you’re trying to quit smoking, break addiction, or make a major change—search for your why. Make it personal. Make it painful if it has to be. Because that’s the kind of reason that holds when everything else fails.
Need Help Getting Started? Here’s What Helped Me:
- 📘 Free Carnivore Diet Quick Start Guide: This guide is how I rebuilt my health after quitting smoking and losing nearly 80 pounds.
- 📄 Discipline Starter Kit: My printable tool to help build habits that stick—even when motivation fades.
This blog is part of a mission—not just to share my story, but to help men like me change the story they’re writing. If that sounds like something you need in your life, subscribe to the YouTube channel, follow the blog, and stick with me.
You’re not alone—and you’re not done yet.
